Drunken Fun
by 2izBetterThan1
Summary: The title gives it all away... Bella and Edward have messy, drunken fun together. Read to see what kind of night they had together. Rated M of course so if you're not eighteen don't go to this story please. One-shot. A/H E&B


_Drunken Fun_

**A/N: G2 here people this is something I wrote a while back to pass the time and to relieve me from writer's block.**

**WARNING MINI LEMON ALERT!**

**WARNING MAY BE A BIT OFFENSIVE!  
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** Also if you're too _young_ back out of this story right now it's not for your pretty little innocent minds. My mind is twisted and explicit at times and you DO NOT need to read this or any of the rest of rated M stories. I don't want to be the reason for your corruption. To the rest of you**

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><p><em>A man named Edward was sitting at a bar drinking a scotch. He noticed a woman named Bella walk next to him to order a drink for herself. Her eyes met his and she couldn't get over the striking green color his were. Her chocolate colored eyes memorized him as well. After staring a little too long she blushed and he offered to buy her drink, which she happily accepted. They talked and laughed with each other getting along perfectly. Only problem was the more they talked, the more they drank. Soon they were both so drunk that their speech was impaired. Time passed by and they are now in a cab on its way to Edward's place.<em>

"_Ohh… mmm…" Bella moaned as Edward's lips touched her neck. She pushed him away to climb into his lap. Satisfied, she bent her head down to kiss him. Both of them were oblivious to their nosey cab driver._

"_You taste good," Edward complimented against her soft lips._

"_Shut up and kiss me." She retorted back, wrapping her arms around his neck, hitting him in his face instead._

"_Shit, that hurt!" He exclaimed as he removed his hands off of her to rub his cheek._

"_I'm so sorry." Her eyes filled with tears. "I messed up evthing. I sooo sowwy." She cried drunkenly._

_Edward didn't understand why she started to cry suddenly and neither did Bella. All he knew was he wanted her to stop so they could continue from where they left off._

"_It's okay, babe… uh don't cryyy," he slurred out. "I'm fine."_

_Out of nowhere Bella started to laugh while a tear ran down her cheek. Edward was confused, her emotions were confusing him. Shrugging his shoulders he pulled her back in for a messy kiss. She opened her mouth when his tongue touched her lower lip. Their tongues tangled around each other. They both got too excited and started to move faster… harder until their teeth collided. Too lost in the moment and too drunk to care they continue to make out._

_The cab driver continued to drive as he spied on their activities. He turned his head and saw Bella rock herself on Edward. Then she ran her hand down his chest to his large bulge, he hissed._

_Being fully turned on he bent his head down to lick and nibble and her chest. Wanting to see more, he pulled her top down, exposing a nipple. She rubbed on his hard on when he pulled her nipple into his mouth._

"_Oh. Oh. OH," she moaned in bliss, leaning her head back until she hit the glass window that separated them from the driver. "Ow," she commented then she got lost in the pleasure Edward was giving her._

_He switched to the other breast giving it the same attention as the first. She bounced and rocked herself on him harder. Hard, too hard, he was no longer feeling pleasure. He was feeling pain._

"_Shit!" He yelled as he held onto her hips to stop her movements._

"_Pussy," she laughed and so did the driver. _

_The driver was too busy worrying about them that he wasn't paying attention to the road. He had to make a sharp turn, which caused Bella and Edward to tumble over to the right and back to the left. They laughed as they hit the car door._

_Finally, they arrived to his place. Edward paid the cab faire as Bella opened the door. She walked out of the car unaware to the fact that her shirt was still misplaced. They both stumbled, drunkenly to his door. He had trouble getting the keys out of his pocket._

_After multiple tries he retrieved them. But he had a hard time getting them through the key hole, missing it too many times to count. Bella was impatiently swaying from the left to the right._

"_You beetter not miiiiss myyy key hole, Mr." She slurred out. _

"_He, he, he…" he laughed. "I won't," he answered as he opened the door. Bella giggled when she felt a strange breeze._

"_What's funny?" He asked as he walked inside after her._

"_Look, my boob's out. Hee, hee." She giggled again. "Oh, well."_

_He wasn't listening, too busy staring at it. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He cupped her ass with his hands and tried to pulls his shoes off. Failing, really badly, he pulled and pulled but they wouldn't come off. _

"_Whaat are you doiing?" She inquired, then stuck her tongue down his throat._

"_Mmm... tahking mmm shos off," he mumbled out against her lips._

"_Whatever, let's go upp stairs and g-get this party started whooo!"_

_She hopped into arms and he gave up on his shoes. Left and right he stumbled up the stairs as he carried her. It was a miracle that he reached the top without dropping her. His bedroom door opened and he threw her on the bed._

"_Whoo! Come and get me tiger," she purred to him from the bed. _

_He smiled at her and lifted his foot up, trying to pull his shoe off, once again. Losing balance he fell to the floor with his shoe in his hand._

"_Oh nooo. You okaay? Come here. I take it off f-for y-you," she giggled._

_He got up from the floor and joined her on the bed, she tugged on his shoe until it popped off. Only she flew off the bed with it. Edward shook his head to himself and was surprised when she grabbed a hold of his pants leg and then the other. Soon they were removed. She stared at his boxers in wonder._

"_Aaah, that's big," her eyes were wide. She climbed on the bed and ran her hands up and down his legs, avoiding his huge tent. Then she crawled over him. He hissed when her heat met his cock._

_Her shirt was removed and she ripped the buttons off of his shirt. Their hands roamed all over each other. He unhooked her bra, and she pulled his boxers off. Impatient, Edward flipped them her over and gripped her voluptuous mounds in his hands. _

_Licking, sucking, pinching, biting… kissing._

"_Oh, oh, oh mmm." Bella exclaimed as he did so._

_His lips moved down her body, to her stomach then back to her mounds. He was obsessed with them. Finally having enough, he slid his hand to her dripping wet, heat. Too anxious, he pushed her thong to the side and felt her. Bella arched her back slightly as he moved his hand in a circular motion. She whimpered when he stopped too soon._

"_I vaant to taaaste you," he slurred out to her, looking into her eyes. Then she didn't see his eyes anymore._

"_Uhhhhh," she groaned when she felt hot, wet tongue massage her clit._

_Screams left her mouth when he sucked it into his mouth. Her head thrashed back and forth when three fingers joined his tongue. She wrapped her legs around his head, slightly suffocating him. He pulled his head and her legs away. Her hand pulled his head back to her heat and held it there. He flattened his tongue and licked anywhere he wanted._

"_Don't stop! Please! D- Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Left her mouth when she came._

"_Ewwwwww… My face is sticky." Edward's face was covered in her juices. He wiped his cheek._

"_Mmm," she moaned, lost in bliss. "Oops, your turn…" she spoke after a few minutes._

_They traded places, Bella was now on top of him. She sat on his stomach, then bent down to lick his cheek. He looked at her incredulously until their lips met._

"_Tasty," she commented, sliding her body down until her face was in front of his member. _

_He grunted when she released him from his boxers. "He's finally freeee," she exclaimed, waving it back and forth with her hands, giggling. Apparently being drunk gave her the giggles. _

_She ran her hand down his shaft slowly, one time. Her mouth soon replaced her hand. His tip was covered by her mouth, then she forced him all the way in. Only he was too thick and too long for her to handle. She began to gag, it sounded like a cat hacking up a hairball. Pulling her mouth away, she coughed and coughed and coughed. He groaned unsatisfied._

"_Why you stop?"_

"_Too" cough, "big" cough, "long" cough. She attempted to speak as she coughed._

_He stared at her, waiting. Eventually, she stopped and tried again. Slower and softer than the first time. She decided not to take all of him in, her hand covered what she couldn't. They both moaned as her head bobbed up and down on his shaft. _

_Faster, harder, rougher. _

_Edward's groans where intensifying, he was close. His hand pushed her head to the rhythm that he wanted. He grabbed a hold of her hair which caused her to release him with a loud pop. Before he could protest her tongue touched his head._

"_Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He yelled in pleasure and pain when he exploded._

"_Aaaah!" Bella screamed at the same time. "My eye… burning, aaahhh… my eyes," she bounced on the bed shouting. "My eyes! My eyes!"_

_Edward watched her chest as she bounced up and down. He was too weak and drunk to do anything else. She hopped off the bed and ran into a wall, trying to find the bathroom. His eyes followed her body's every move. Feeling blindly, she found the bathroom and washed her face. When she finished she walked out and found Edward sleeping, showing all his glory. Too tired her self she plopped on the bed and fell asleep on top of him._

_?_

"_Ugh, my head," Bella complained when she woke up. "What the hell?" She saw a man's naked body next to hers. She gasped when she realized she was in the same state. The man's face was turned to the other side so she didn't recognize him. Crazy thoughts were going through her head. She stared at the covers trying to clear her head. All she felt was pounding and throbbing. The room was spinning. She moaned in agony._

"_Not so loud," he mumbled and held his head with one hand. _

_Bella was relieved that she knew the voice. Happy that she wasn't with a stranger last night. Besides the pounding, questions were filling her head. She sat up in the bed feeling embarrassed, angry, confused. Upset that she couldn't remember a thing about the night before._

"_Oh, no. We didn't."_

"_Huh, what?" He grunted, still asleep._

_He opened his green eyes and turned to face her. "Bella? What are you doing here?" He asked in curiosity._

"_That's what I want to know," she whispered. _

_He sat up with wide eyes and stared at Bella's chest. She noticed, gasped and grabbed a sheet to cover herself. _

"_Sorry, wasn't expecting that. Fuck, I have a migraine," he complained. Bella gasped louder. When Edward cursed he brought back a memory._

"_What?" He asked._

"_What happened last night?" Then she slapped his arm._

"_Ow, what was that for?" He asked as he rubbed his arm._

"_For taking advantage of me in my drunken state!" She raised her voice a little._

"_I would never do something like that to you or anyone else." He remembered something as well. _

"_How do I know? I don't you that well," she retorted._

"_You do and you know it. Stop trying to blame all this on me. We were both drunk. That's all I can remember." _

"_You're right. I'm sorry, Edward." Her voice was apologetic._

"_It's alright."_

"_No, no, no, no, no." She repeated with her head in her hands._

"_What-" Bella hit him again. "Ow! What now?"_

"_You came in my eye and just sat there watching me suffer?" Edward gave her an incredulous look then his eyes went wide in disgust._

"_Well, you came all over my face."_

"_No, I- ewwww… please tell me no… I didn't…" He nodded his head. "Why didn't you stop me?"_

"_I don't know. Let me think…" He said sarcastically. "I was _drunk_." She hit him again._

"_Stop hitting me."_

"_Ewww… I can't believe I-I-I… ewwww." Bella hopped out of the bed and ran into the bathroom. He laughed as he saw her naked ass._

"_I'm never drinking again!" She yelled._

"_That's what they all say." He laughed harder._

"_Keep laughing because you're never touching me again!" She shouted from the bathroom._

"_Oh, come on it wasn't my fault! Don't say that!" He shouted getting up to knock on the door._

"_It was our first time and I can't believe you fell asleep on me!"_

"_Baby, I'm sorry! I was drunk it won't happen again!" He banged his fist on the door._

"_You're damn right it won't!"_

_The End_

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><p><em><strong>AN: Shame on drunken Edward and Bella. Tsk. Tsk. I sincerely apologize if you were offended in anyway. But I warned you in the beginning it could have been a lot worse but I toned it down a bit. Want more? Love it? hate it? You know what to do press that button and review. Hee hee that rhymed.**  
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